While you surround yourself with those who support you be sure that you also support other women. Mom power is contagious.
What does ‘being present’ really mean? I’m not speaking about being happy just hanging out with your dog, kids or friends. What I’m alluding to is a deeper meaning of sustaining an overall internal joy. Being a mom can be exhausting and lonely — but it doesn’t have to be that way all the time. In my mind I see being present as being connected to all things important to us and not allowing ourselves to live in the past or focus too much on our future.
All we really have is today, right? You can be mindful as a mom and as a woman — you can be intentional with moments each day when you embrace your gentle truthful soul…
When I’m taken out of the moment, I remind myself to re-calibrate. Here are some ways you can start to increase your present moment awareness:
Admit that you are uniquely designed… embrace that uniqueness and live by it – There is only one you in this world and they’re people out there who can’t wait to meet you. You don’t have to prove your worth – you are uniquely you. If you have habits that are holding you back or get in the way of you being present, then focus what can you do. Change your habits. Becoming more aware of these tendencies allow you to identify those behaviors that may be hampering your life. But overall, the world and your kids need you just the way you are. Fabulous.
Pray, stretch or quiet yourself daily – Screaming, wheels rolling across the floor, screeching, banging, and “MOM!” is all I hear for a good portion of my day. When I’m not with the son, my husband, or my friends, then I’m working my business. So you see how I need to quiet myself daily to keep my sanity!
If you are a mom, none of what I just said surprises you.
Debra Wesselmann in her book, The Whole Parent: How to Become a Terrific Parent Even if You Didn’t Have One, says,
“As a parent, when your child ego state is triggered your inner child takes charge of parenting! The purpose of meditation is to help you keep your present-day adult self in charge as you parent. This is accomplished by separating out the child part of yourself from the adult part.”
Take time to do something fun – when we engage in things we consider fun we raise our serotonin and oxytocin levels – the chemicals in the brain that make us feel good. Be sure you’re getting a daily dose! Laughing, a phone call with a friend, hiking, walking pets, if it makes you feel joy – do it at least once a day. You deserve it. A replenished mom makes happy kids.
Stop rushing – worthwhile things come when you’re intentional and patient – As moms we automatically rush everything! We find ourselves saying, “Get in the car, put your shoes on, eat your dinner, get in the bath” – the list goes on and on. We rush because we feel we’ll never get anything done if we take our time. Slow down. Take a breathe. And know everything will get done. I sound like your Grandmother don’t I? I notice when I slow down, I yell less and listen more. Try it. You may not get kids to bed at exactly the right time, but who cares if it’s 10 or 15 minutes later anyway? A calm mom is much more fun to be around.
Planting the seed with your kids for cooperation – Planting the seed means preparing ahead of time by helping your child understand what to expect in certain situations and what will be expected of him. When expectations are clearly laid out, children are far more likely to cooperate and less likely to be disruptive or difficult. Planting a seed lets them digest the message and sets them up for success.
Ask for help – it lightens the burden of everyday life – Asking family and friends for help can be an awkward and difficult thing to do. In fact, many moms avoid asking for help and end up trying to do everything themselves. You may find that once you take the step and ask someone for help, it is much easier than you expected. Many times, family members and friends are willing, but just don’t know how to help. Whether you work out of home – or part/full time or you stay at home, parenting can be physically and emotionally taxing. How often do you feel comfortable asking for help? Rarely, right? This is an essential step to making your dreams come true. Ignoring your own needs can lead you to become physically and mentally exhausted, and neglect relationships with your friends and family. Worse yet, it will stop you from pursuing the things that you love to do.
Keep the lines of communication open with others – One of the main reasons we may get depressed or burnt out on motherhood is when hit hard times we begin to become resentful. Resentment will break up any good relationship so It’s imperative to never allow that feeling to creep up on you. Resentment comes from constantly feeling disrespected, or being mistreated or short-changed. If you voice your concerns appropriately the minute you feel them you can avoid resentment from festering – being open to all your emotions is key. You pass on your emotional intelligence to your kids.
Have set time each day when all electronics go OFF for the evening – All the cell phones are off in our family at dinnertime and stay off. No computers, iPads, DS’s. This is the optimal wind-down time for the soul. Right before we go to bed, we need to calm our senses and center ourselves for a good night’s sleep. Families engage more when no one is looking at a screen. Try it. You’ll love the IRL love you get when the screens are dark!
Read or do something that inspires you before bedtime – Whatever you don’t process in your waking hours your mind will process during sleep. It’s important that you eliminate all stress, agitating imagery or bad thoughts before bedtime. Give your mind something wonderful to process so your subconscious can absorb and process the positive.
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, a guru of self-development, has great recommendations for you before you slumber!
As you lie in bed preparing for your nightly slumber, remember that the last thought you have in your mind can last up to four hours in your subconscious mind. That’s four hours of programming from just one moment of contemplation prior to going into your unconscious state. Create a reminder like a prayer or mantra to place by your bed. Write these words and read them as you get comfortable: I am going to use these moments to review what I intend to embrace in my life. Keep that sign there to remind you how to spend your pre-sleep moments nightly.
If before dropping off to sleep you are filled with worry, distress, or fear, do not stay in bed. Get up, turn on the light, take a few deep breaths, read from a spiritual text, say a prayer—do anything other than allowing the thoughts to overcome you.
Leave Post-it Notes to yourself in areas you’ll see them with inspiring soul-boosting reminders – Don’t underestimate the power of affirmations! There is so much power in truth.. I have a post note above my desk that says, “I am responsible for embracing peace.” Try it. It can be as simple as “I fearfully and wonderfully made” or “Today I choose Joy.”
TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF. IT’S ESSENTIAL TO RECHARGE YOUR SOUL IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE THERE FOR OTHERS.